152^nd post marks the last post of the year and it is also the time for wrap up. Tomorrow onwards will be a brand new start, with new challenges to face. 2008 is also the year which I will turn 21 (although I always say I’m 19 forever), and it’s time I guess to act like a grown up and think like an adult. Xiao mei zhang da le!! But xiao mei still hope that she will look the same forever, with no sign of ageing.

This year hasn’t been easy with all the decisions to make. First and needless to say is issue regarding to Netball. Many things had happened in our club. First is the leaving of the coach then after is the rumour of the team splitting. I have to admit, I’m kind of sick of all these rumours and hearsays in the team. All I wanted is to play good netball, have fun in trainings and getting all tuned in times when playing for leagues or carnivals. I’m never interested in politics so all these things happening in the team gradually deter me from playing. Then after is the National League which Chun di became the coach and guided us thru. This league is certainly not an easy feat for us especially when we are in the 1^st div. 1^st div, a div in which all the experts teams like Nike, sneakers, Blaze played in. (ok, I guess only Netballers will know them WELL) But quite glad that everyone really put in their best in playing although we know perfectly well that, we will end up losing for most of the games. Although we ended up being 5^th in the league, this is the league that I have enjoyed most. Maybe because we are playing under a no pressure environment, maybe because I know that chun di trusted me when she put me down to play, maybe its because I’m not under him.. I dunno whether this will be the last league that I’m playing and I certainly hope not. But things are a bit different now.. and it takes time to resolve everything. Besides the club issue, then it is the NUS team. This year I have decided not to play for the team and it’s a decision I have struggled for quite some time. The problem lies with me this time, and I have let down Miss Sng. If I have met her earlier, things would have been different. I know she will definitely be the 2^nd person who can bring my skill to a greater level. She told me this once, "Maybe you find yourselves in the stagnant stage now and you don't see yourself improving. That's why you feel like giving up now. Who hasn't been this stage before?? But if you can overcome this, you will become a better player." I remembered I teared after that. She told me to give her a reply, but i failed to.. cos I really have no idea what I wanted then. She pinned high hope on me, I'm worried that I will disappoint her.. I'm worried that I wont be able to make it.. Then I started to give up gradually.. I have failed this in my life.. So to all netballers or other athletics, I just want to say, don't give up on your dreams.. those dreams that you have once when you are young, don't be afraid to dream big. Everything is possible as long as you don't give up.. and don't be afraid of criticisms; they will just make you grow up to be a stronger person. I have failed, so I don't want to see people around me to follow my footsteps.

In term of studies wise, I thought I was still coping well with that.. this year ended off with a pretty good note, seeing me with an improvement in terms of grades and an overall improvement in my cap. Workload is getting heavier with each semester and all I wish is that I can cope with them and that of cos that includes the stress level. And I do hope that all my frens are able to continue to improve in every sem as well.. Jia you!!

Studies and netball does not account for all my life in this year. The best thing that occurred in this year is none other than being together with my dear.. Sound mushy huh.. –shy- But really need to thank my dear for all the support that he has given. And I know I’m never a good-tempered person so I guess his life hasn’t been easy. =P there are quite a bit of hiccups in our relationship but I’m glad that we have overcome them all.. I just want to say.. I ♥ you.

With that, that ended the last post of the year.. And an advance Happy New year to all.. =)

Another 3+ weeks of hols to go before the school term starts again. Not that I’m looking forward to studying and having exams, but this hols is seriously boring, upsetting. I guess this is ever the worst hols and the worst month that I had. I’m sick of online shopping, sleeping till late.. I dun feel like watching Romantic Princess anymore when I have 3 more episodes to go. My room is still in a mess but I’m not in the mood to tidy up. I know my dad will start nagging soon if he can’t stand the untidiness anymore. But I’m not going to care about that as well. I’ll just let him nag and probably that will give me the drive to get something done. My life is in a total mess I think. I don’t feel like going for training as well, even though I’ll have the chance of meeting up with the rest. But I really dun feel like training under him. And since, I won’t be playing for the coming carnival; I see no point of me going for training. There is no motivation for me to train, I don’t see the point of training up my stamina but I’ll head down to the gym one day for a good sweat-out. I should start planning a life for myself instead of living for others. No point of cheapening myself as to say. I understand why I am so hurt this time.. That's cos.. my pride was hurt this time.

I have to admit. I can’t get over it. Every time when I think about it or was reminded, I will feel like tearing. Really hate this feeling. I hate this especially at night. Sorry if I have to keep lying, saying I’m fine. This is what I hope for though. It won’t help even if you feel bad. Anyway, thanks people for ur concern.. I hope the usual me will be back soon..

Silence will not help in solving problem. and even if time can help in healing the wound, it will only heal the wound that is on the surface, and not totally. Deep down, the wound will still persist, the barrier between us will always be present.

Finally the semester has ended. Looking back, it hasn’t been easy though. This sem has been busy for me, somehow. Maybe it’s because of the numerous stats assignments, food health assignments and my IT project which has ‘unknowingly’ take up a lot of my time. But it’s ok now cos everything has come to an end!! No more of textbooks, lecture notes.. and no more of Glycolysis, Epigenetics, Wilcoxon signed rank test, Natural toxicant and Modes of network.. Simply put.. I’m FREED!!

The exam results will be release on the 27^th December and I do hope I’ll have a harvest for this sem given the time I have devoted on revising.. Hmmm.. but frankly speaking, I wasn’t very hopeful every time I stepped out of the lecture halls.. haiz.. okie.. enough of this worrying.. I’m not going to let all this disturb my wonderful hols ahead. I’m going to enjoy myself and only worry about the results on that day.

For this dec, I’m going to..

1) Spend lots of time with my boyfren!! =)

2) Finish watching 公主小妹 Romantic princess

3) Do lots of online and retail shopping –whee-

4) Have a lot of mahjong sessions

5) Slack and sleep like nobody’s biz

6) Start training up my stamina and build up some muscles.. I really can’t stand the unfit me anymore

7) Meet up with that bird someday.

8) Pack and tidy up my messy room.. =/

9) … …

To all my uni peeps.. ENJOY UR HOLS!! And all the best to Thomas as well.. enjoy urself over at Australia with Alvin’s ‘best fren’.. hahaha..