Just witnessed the IVP netball final, with NUS playing against NTU. Nus lost this year, and had to return the championship trophy back to ntu. I hate to say this, but ntu is indeed stronger than us this year. NUS could have put up a good fight as well but the loss of the 2 important players first is Shu ting then Liyana, is simply too much for the team. I would say, the game is half lost as the 2 of them departed from the game, with Shu ting suffering knee injury and Liyana has her head injured when she was knocked down. I’m wondering how the gals are coping with the loss and in fact, it affected me as well. It felt as though, I lost the game too, although I wasn’t in the team. I have never regretted my choice of quitting the team then, cos I know I would not be happy if I continued. Besides, I won’t be able to cope with my studies also. But the thought of ‘what if’ is always lingering around. What if I continued then?? Will I be a better player?? Will Miss Sng be able to bring me to a higher level of play?? I felt like a coward at times. What happened just now was that; I don’t even have the courage to go over and say hi to Miss Sng when she was alone at the bench. I let her down, I failed to give her a reply and have all the intentions to avoid the issue. I didn’t settle the issue properly and yes, I’m being immature for that and I ought to be ashamed of myself. When will I ever grow up?? Perhaps I have never wanted to grow up in the first place. How nice it is to stay forever as a child. At least, one will be free of worries and also, the study stress.. Hah, and look by saying all these, doesn’t it show out the immaturity side of me again?? Netball is no longer as pure as I used to think it is. All the politics behind is turning me away from Netball. But I know one thing for sure; I’ll never give up playing netball. The skills and experience that I'm enriched with for the past 8 years should not be wasted like that. I know I will no longer be able to play professional netball since the stress level is not something I can undertake. I just want to train with people that I always train with. I no longer want to venture out. U can say that I’m such a disappointment but I do hope, my decision is respected…